Southern Gent and Belle in training

As a Southern Belle, I was taught growing up in Northeast Mississippi that there are certain unspoken rules to live by. I try diligently to train my own children in these rules. My son is 6-years old and very literal in his translation. My daughter is 18-months and has only just begun learning the fine art of being a belle.

Brooks, my son, recently asked me how old I was. Being his mother, I was not offended. Actually, I am proud of my 34 years and don't mind sharing my age. However, I understand some women past a certain age do not wish for their age to be public knowledge. So, I instructed my son that it is very poor manners to ask a lady her age. One should NEVER ask a lady her age, unless one is her physician or pastor. My son takes what I say very seriously.

A few weeks later we were home in Mississippi visiting for Thanksgiving. He was tossing a small ball with my husband's aunt (yes, she is Brooks' great aunt, but she doesn't at all look like a great aunt). He said, "You're not as good at throwing as I am because you're so old. How old are you? WAIT! I'm not supposed to as an old lady how old she is! Sorry." Clearly, I still have a little work to do.

I'm hoping to have better luck with my daughter when I teach her the finer points of being a Southern Belle. She loves all things "pitty" -- her word for pretty. She loves to carry her purse in the crook of her arm while prissing around in my heels. If you ask her to show you how pretty she is, she tilts her head to one side and grins. She also likes to show off her beautiful blue eyes. I'm currently teaching her how to bat her eyelashes. ALL Southern Belles should practice this flirtatious gesture. It really will get you anything you want. Case in point, all Gwen (my daughter) as to do is bat her lashes at her daddy, and he melts. However, the time will come soon when Gwen will have to be taught humility. She is a precious little girl, but if I continue down this path she will cease to be a Southern Belle. Instead, she will become a conceited Shallow Belle.

You see, a true Southern Belle is never boastful in her beauty. She says "Thank you" to a compliment coming from a man, but always makes an excuse when the same compliment comes from a fellow belle. A Southern Belle has charm that seems effortless -- only a well-placed eyelash batting will work. Anything too forced, and the man will run. A Southern Belle is always eager to help others, even if it means getting her hands a little dirty. A Southern Belle never offers the traditional, "If you need anything, just let me know," without really meaning it. A Southern Belle is always friendly and gracious to those working in service positions (i.e. wait staff, cashiers, etc.) because a friendly face is always more pleasant to serve. And finally, a Southern Belle or Southern Gent is never suspicious of strangers. You never know if that stranger just needs a little kindness. As Scarlet says, "I've always relied on the kindness of strangers."